han, on 2012-December-20, 13:21, said:
Hold it, right there. I may not have expressed myself clearly enough. But this is what I wrote.
Trinidad, on 2012-December-19, 03:14, said:
I meant to express that in resolving the issue Deb might want to keep in mind that both kids may have been shocked. If you want to change a child's behavior (and I assume Deb wants this kid not to tell her son that he'll go to hell anymore) it is good to be able to see the world through their eyes. After all, if Deb isn't able to see the world through the eyes of this kid, the kid certainly won't be able to see the world through Deb's eyes.
I only wrote about the kids. You claim that the two kids being shocked is not the same, because of what their parents did. I did not bring the parents into the equation. I considered the two kids in isolation. They responded in a predictable way, as they were taught. Deb's son heard for the first time someone say that he will go to hell. He was rightfully shocked. The other kid may just have had his first encounter with blasphemy. From his limited perspective (he is a kid) he may have been -just as rightfully- shocked.
I did not write anywhere that I condoned the other kid's behavior (to be 100% clear: I don't). I actually wrote that "some action from [Deb's] side might be called for". Would I write that if I thought it would be OK to tell others that they will go to hell? I wouldn't think so.
Yes, I am a tolerant non-believer. But that doesn't mean my tolerance is unlimited, since in return for my tolerance I ask for tolerance. In concrete terms that means that I will happily let the kid believe what he believes, but I will act when he rattles my son by saying that he will go to hell.
Only with the aim to maximize the effect of the "action" Deb might take, I suggested that it would be good to be aware that the other kid may have been shocked too. You and I are both scientists. We believe in solving problems in a rational way by understanding the mechanisms that are involved in them. This case is not different: You will be better placed to solve this problem if you realize that the other kid may have been shocked too.
Rik