[thepossum]

Dear all

Ive asked this before and have been online for 6 months. Ive only summoned up the courage to play about 5 tables so far and am yet to find a relaxed table, even in the relaxed club. Is it possible to set u a club for genuine relaxed play where beginners and ordinary intermediates feel comfortable, under no pressure and don't have to lay good intermediates all the time. Where can we get a game. It gets boring playing robots but to date playing people on BBO has been very anxiety provoking and not very enjoyable

regards P

[paulg]

Aside from some clubs, like the Acol Club I've mentioned previously, bridge on BBO is a little like the Wild West. There are lots of good people around, but the bandits and the cowboys get all the headlines.

Dip your toe in the water, make some friends, keep those you like, lose the others. Like a large number of posters I hardly ever play random games because I will not enjoy it and, almost certainly, the opponents will not enjoy it either. Luckily I have a lot of BBO friends.

Forum posters are often in the best behaviour group. This may be because they have something to protect, namely their reputation, whereas the vast majority of players are anonymous and this can lead to behaviour that would be unacceptable at a club, or it may be because they are just a nice group

[kuhchung]

Yeah, what paulg said. If you notice a player who you like, try chatting him up and suggest to follow each other so you can arrange games when you're online.

[thepossum]

 kuhchung, on 2018-October-25, 11:32, said:

Yeah, what paulg said. If you notice a player who you like, try chatting him up and suggest to follow each other so you can arrange games when you're online.

Thanks all. Much of it comes down to my own anxiety at the moment too. I find it quite stressful suddenly meeting 3 new people, very little time to introduce and discuss systems and also the speed of play people hope for even in relaxed club. Suddenly knoweldge of some system bids disappear from my head under the pressure. I resort to fairly natural with just very basic 2/1 and rsorting to natural bids which partners may assume have specific meanings. I obviously have all the basics ingrained, suit openings and responses, 2/1, limit bids, NT openings, stayman, transfers, blackwoods, 2C, weak 2s, and basic uncontested auctions etc. But in a more competitive environment where people like to contest more its a very different matter and it challenges memory of point counts on responses, doubles, interference, cue bids, splinters, complex overcalls etc.

Maybe I'm overly anxious but I hope sometime just to start with a few relaxed hands to start to relax. It seems that often the first hand I lay on any table is highly competitive and throws my balance. On one table recently for example I ended up in 2NT rather than 1NT or 2/3 H due to a competitive auction. I did ok, down 2 tricks and only 1.6 IMPs, but really I was too anxious to think or play. But I didn't feel I bid or played correctly and felt so bad I apologised and left. On later analysis I did ok and partner could possibly have helped escape. But I think that was due to my 2NT bid and me not being clear (to myself) what it actually meant. In an uncontested auction, 1NT would have been correct. The bidding is below. I should have doubled the 2C I think and I also should only have gone down 1 on good play I think. But 1.6 IMPs wasnt too bad.

The problem I'm highlighting for me is that I really have no idea how good the three other players are when I first meet and how my partner feels

Here is an example of a hand I should have played better but was unsure what to bid after the 2C and forgot about doubles/passing at that moment

---

[helene_t]

Hi Possum,

Your 2NT bid shows 18-19. So your correct call is pass.

You could presumably have the agreement that double shows four hearts, in which case you could double. But without having discussed this with partner, pass is fine.

[brislboy]

join ME!

Old Nik

[kbrat]

Take a deep breath, start a table, sit down. Greet your p with "Hi p, pls be patient, maybe we can do good". By starting your own table you set the pace, and you choose whom to play with (worst case kick or not). Set the rules for how you are going to have fun and enjoy, and maybe that helps you fight the anxiety. Good luck on your game!

[The_Badger]

As Helene said, 'Pass' is the correct bid here, and 'Pass' is usually the hardest bid for some players to make.

An easy way to look at the above hand is as follows: "Think partner has passed on the first round of bidding so will be (most of the time) without 11-12 to open, and I have a balanced 14 count. We need 25-26 high card points (most of the time though distribution comes into the equation obviously) to make a 3NT or 4 of a major game. So the likelihood of us having enough points to make 3NT or a 4♥ game is reduced considerably. So do I want to encourage partner to bid by bidding again? The answer is obviously 'no'. So I 'pass' to show a minimum hand without a fit for the suit partner has bid"

The statement above may look longwinded or convoluted but can be summed up quite simply: "Partner has passed on the first round of bidding so game is very unlikely." What you are doing is, and what the majority of bridge players do automatically, is assessing partner's initial 'pass' as a bid in its own right before you bid and working from there. If you had a ♥ fit you would compete: without it you are staring at a minimum balanced hand.

As you get more familiar with reacquainting yourself with bridge in general, certain situations will occur again and again, and it becomes almost an automatic reflex how you bid or play, so don't feel disheartened or disillusioned as the more you get back into bridge, the more you will feel comfortable with the game in general. It's rather like riding a bike again.

[nekthen]

Develop a thicker skin. Yes some people on here are very rude. I just put them on ignore and leave the table. Ask your partner if 2N was OK. If he goes into a tirade ignore him and move on. Hopefully, most people will say something like "Well pass would have been better but npp" If you are prepared to learn from mistakes most people are kind.

The people I avoid are the rude ones and those who try to pin the blame on partner, when really they are at fault.

[Largolia]

Hi, i agree with previous poster (nekthen) - "Develop a thicker skin". Make your skin as think as an elephant's Just the other evening i was invited to play in a team match (with true, real and kind experts), and you not going to believe this -> my partner with no profile, no name, no skill level whatsoever and with only 3 logins (and i'm not going to mention the country ) , shouted at me after jumping unnecessarily to 7NT : "idiot" . Well, i just calmly wrote this @ the table: "Bridge players are suppose to be
intelligent people..
Being rude!? - Not so intelligent imho.." Needless to say, he/she just immediatly left BBO and we continued a good game in peace

[Largolia]

*as thick i mean

[wuudturner]

Online can be a terribly frustrating place to try to play and learn.

I might start with places like BIL. A good place to learn, and to find people who would be of similar skill levels, and have a willingness to learn.

https://www.bilbridge.com

On BBO, look at the intermediate/advanced club.

Personally? I don't play with random partners, essentially ever. I have friends from real life bridge that I will play online with, and some friends that I have met online. Beyond that, it is not worth the effort. So I very much do understand your pain.

A problem with BBO bridge is the ability to assign a skill rating to yourself. This causes everybody to call themselves an expert, or even world class. Partly because nobody will play with them if they do not. World class on BBO often means that someone has once won a club duplicate game. ;-) Seriously, assign yourself an accurate rating on BBO. If you choose to call yourself an expert, then you had better bid and play like an expert, else you will earn a great deal of abuse. You will see people abandon you in the middle of a hand, every time you fail to do what they think is correct, even if they are wrong.

A rule that I try to follow when I do play bridge is to be willing to accept blame, to look at myself through the eyes of my partner. If I do something that in the end causes us to get a poor score, I will immediately shoulder the blame, even if along the way, partner might have helped out in that cause. For example, suppose I hold the hand

8762
KJx
QJ9
Q9x

Playing a standard 2/1 system, partner opens 1♣, pass to me. So partner has at least 3 clubs. I might respond 1♠, but then partner might raise my spades on 3 card support, and we might be too high. I play with my partners that over a minor suit opening, 1NT shows 8-10 HCP. So in my eyes, 1NT is probably a better description of my hand. However, if it turns out that after my 1NT response, that partner did have spades, and we never find a spade part score, instead playing it in 1NT? If it we get a good result, then I'll say nothing. If the result is a poor one, then I'll immediately admit my culpability. An immediate "sorry partner" from me. And since I only play with someone who I know and trust, I have no fears they will blast me for my choice.

Said another way, NEVER tell partner during a game that they were wrong in a bid or play they made. But be freely willing to admit that YOU were wrong.

The point in all this is, to find a truly relaxed game, find a place to play with people who are of a similar skill level as you. Find friends who can accept you, and are at ease with themselves. And to cultivate those friends, teach them that they can trust you, learn to be a good partner.

[SelfGovern]

 thepossum, on 2018-October-25, 04:38, said:

Dear all

Ive asked this before and have been online for 6 months. Ive only summoned up the courage to play about 5 tables so far and am yet to find a relaxed table, even in the relaxed club. Is it possible to set u a club for genuine relaxed play where beginners and ordinary intermediates feel comfortable, under no pressure and don't have to lay good intermediates all the time. Where can we get a game. It gets boring playing robots but to date playing people on BBO has been very anxiety provoking and not very enjoyable

regards P

Hello, Possum. I want to reinforce that you've gotten good advice here. Specifically, the BIL group is good, they police their membership well (don't tolerate rudeness) and have interclub tournaments that can be a better field and still be fun.

Forum members are good bets, too, and there are people here of all skill levels.

Also, since you play 2/1 let me suggest you practices with the bots (affectionately called GIB), and learn the GIB 2/1 system they play. Anyone who plays many tournaments on BBO will know a good deal about it, and if you can find a partner or two who know it well, you'll be miles ahead of most of the field.

If you want to know how to get a rough idea of how good someone is without relying on their "everybody's an expert" self-rating, let me know, and I'll tell you how.

[HardVector]

You should fill out your profile. Put in there what system you would like to play and allow better players to adjust to you. Include what kind of defensive signaling you do. Try to accurately label your ability, don't call yourself world class if you learned how to play last month. If you call yourself a novice up front, people will tend to be more forgiving. Criticism is sometimes not meant to be belittling, but things typed out may be different than you intended it saying it in your head. Of course, any bit of advice starting with "You idiot..." should probably involve booting that person from the table. If attitudes bother you, host tables and use the power to control who plays there.

In real life, try to find intermediate/novice games. They will be more relaxed, but if you are interested in improving your game, doing that will slow your progress. The absolutely best place, however, is to find a group of friends and have a bridge evening. Particularly with a good wine. There is nothing better than trying to make an impossible slam when you are half in the bag.