[MrAce]

There are many things that makes Bridge more appealing than "sex". I found this post by Andrew Winock on his FB profile and added some more to his list. Please add if you can think of other funny comparisons.

• You do not have to hide your magazines,
• It is OK to hire a pro.
• It is Ok to be a pro.
• You can play with strangers
• There is no bridge transmitted diseases
• It is OK to change your partners
• You can still do it in your 90's
• Having something short can be a good thing.
• Playing two over one is appropriate.
• You will have fun and will be respected for squeezing others.
• 'Fast arrival' is not necessarily a bad thing.
• Everyone goes down sometimes!
• Lying to your pd is OK.
• You are allowed to ruff your or other people's Queen!
• You are allowed to watch other pairs.
• Your age or your gender does not necessarily make you vulnerable.
• Being partner with same gender is OK regardless of your religion.
• No angry husbands/wives when they catch you playing with their spouse.
• No one will shoot you for squeezing their spouse!

[nige1]

According to his biographers, Ely Culbertson promoted Bridge on the basis of Sex, Snobbery and Women's Liberation. e.g. he encouraged suggestive terminology, especially about end-plays, for example entry squeeze strip.

[Cyberyeti]

To rehash an old joke:

If you don't have a good partner you need a good hand

[Winstonm]

Because Bob, Carol, Ted, and Alice are teammates.

[kenberg]

I have Kelsey's book Strip Squeezes.
I sometimes wonder what people think I am reading about when I bring it to Starbucks. So far no one has come over to my table and suggested that we give it a try.

[masse24]

It's a good thing when your partner "makes some noise."

[helene_t]

MrAce, on 2016-December-22, 07:58, said:

No angry husbands/wives when they catch you playing with their spouse.

Not sure about that one ...

[billw55]

MrAce, on 2016-December-22, 07:58, said:

• There is no bridge transmitted diseases

Hmm, does Gerber count?

[Winstonm]

billw55, on 2016-December-22, 11:13, said:

Hmm, does Gerber count?

No diaper fetishes, please.

[Phil]

Ely was a marketing genius.

[Al_U_Card]

Pretty much equivalent as far as relationships are concerned...

"Putting your cards on the table makes you the dummy."

[manudude03]

You can elope without risking pregnancy.

You can have a permanent partner without paying thousands for marriage.

As an aside, when I was on npc duty earlier this year, I had in my profile "when he is not squeezing the ladies at the club"

[Cyberyeti]

kenberg, on 2016-December-22, 09:58, said:

I have Kelsey's book Strip Squeezes.
I sometimes wonder what people think I am reading about when I bring it to Starbucks. So far no one has come over to my table and suggested that we give it a try.

50 shades of play ?

[FelicityR]

You don't have to worry about your 'love handles' (or your choice of lingerie)
Swapping partners is not frowned upon
You can have a 'stiff queen' in your hand without feeling embarrassed
Post mortems do not have involve people who have died [during the sexual act]
Simultaneous Pairs are not under any obligation to perform
No 'bottom' is going to be spanked
You can have a cup of tea and biscuits while playing bridge

but, on the flip side, playing bridge is more difficult than the Karma Sutra (so I've been told)

[Cyberyeti]

You can talk to a man about the rubbers you got through with his wife and not have to dodge any bullets.

[msjennifer]

You are forced to open your hand and expose what it holds when you are dummy. What you hold in your hand is yours and what you hold in your mind is partners.

[iandayre]

MrAce, on 2016-December-22, 07:58, said:

There are many things that makes Bridge more appealing than "sex". I found this post by Andrew Winock on his FB profile and added some more to his list. Please add if you can think of other funny comparisons.

• You do not have to hide your magazines,
• It is OK to hire a pro.
• It is Ok to be a pro.
• You can play with strangers
• There is no bridge transmitted diseases
• It is OK to change your partners
• You can still do it in your 90's
• Having something short can be a good thing.
• Playing two over one is appropriate.
• You will have fun and will be respected for squeezing others.
• 'Fast arrival' is not necessarily a bad thing.
• Everyone goes down sometimes!
• Lying to your pd is OK.
• You are allowed to ruff your or other people's Queen!
• You are allowed to watch other pairs.
• Your age or your gender does not necessarily make you vulnerable.
• Being partner with same gender is OK regardless of your religion.
• No angry husbands/wives when they catch you playing with their spouse.
• No one will shoot you for squeezing their spouse!

[661_Pete]

I may be old-fashioned, but I still think 2♥ is the best contract....
....soon to be followed by 1♦ if things turn out well.
Whatever you do, however badly things go, please don't use 1♣!
And remember, at the end of the day, you'll have to dig spouse's grave with 1♠...

[Winstonm]

661_Pete, on 2016-December-24, 11:45, said:

I may be old-fashioned, but I still think 2♥ is the best contract....
....soon to be followed by 1♦ if things turn out well.
Whatever you do, however badly things go, please don't use 1♣!
And remember, at the end of the day, you'll have to dig spouse's grave with 1♠...

Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, she'll beat you if she's able
The Queen of Hearts is always your best bet